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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Crazy busy

It's amazing how insane life can get at times. After my last post about how restful the Boundary Waters was this year, I have endured more triple-booked schedules, more unforeseen car breakdowns, more difficult calendar issues, more last minute decisions, than just about any other week in my life.

Two years ago I started this blog after a fifteen-day stint in the hospital when my brain popped. (Actually just a blood vessel in my brain popped, but close enough.) One of the great lessons I learned out of that amazing experience was Trust. Flying over the Mississippi on my way to the emergency room at North Memorial, I had one tiny bit of control -- I could leverage myself up on my elbow to look out the window at the river below. I could not control anything else. I could not control whether the helicopter arrived safely. I could not control what was going on inside my own brain, either my thoughts or the bleeding. I could not control the quality or experience of the doctors and nurses on duty at the hospital where I'd arrive shortly. I couldn't even control whether I lived to lay back down on the gurney when the pain in my head became intolerable.

Being out of control, I learned to trust. Throughout that hospital stay, I learned to trust. One day a nursing student who was assigned to my floor asked me how I could be so calm, even funny, in the face of a life-threatening condition that might kill me at any moment. "My life belongs to God," I said, "and I trust that if he sees fit to let it end right now, he's got a good reason for that." Living in the face of death teaches you to trust.

The last day of my hospital stay I realized an Important Lesson. That is this: Living in the face of death requires trust, but so does living in the face of life. I can't control whether my vehicles keep functioning. (Though of course I can be responsible about maintenance, etc. That's a different issue.) I can't control what the other drivers do. I can't guarantee that my family members will all arrive home safely. I can't control the weather or my sickness / health or lots of other things. To get through this life, I have to trust.

So when I have a crazy busy week like this one, it brings me to the end of what I can control. Over and over again, I've had to remind myself to trust. Relax. Do what you can, and recognize that you're not finally in charge. Trust.


  1. Very timely message for me. Thank you! Had just sat down perturbed of how long my list is getting and how short my week is becoming. The rebel that I am, I sat down to defy my list and read your blog. Very glad I did! I think I may grab a diet Dr. Pepper and a good book and set my list aside for the rest of the night.

  2. Hmmm ... Stacy, that sounds positively biblical. Maybe not the Dr. Pepper, but there's certainly enough in scripture about quietness, trust, and resting in between work. I think too often we think all that rest time God tells us to take is a luxury, something to do if we can afford it. I suspect it's just the opposite. Hope you had a restful evening that will renew you for tomorrow!